The Realistic Wife vs The “Transformed” One

Hi friends,

A lot of this blog consists of some thoughts I put into Instagram stories over the weekend- But I wanted to put in a blog because I think the core of this is really important for us as believers and as Christian women.

I am doing my best to be less political in general, but I am still not opposed to calling things out when they’re wrong or toxic. In fact, I think that’s our job as believers.

This past weekend, I posted about an account that I truly tried to have and open mind to (@TheTransformedWife). But, after sifting through this person’s content, I just found myself getting so frustrated. 

I think most people who know me know that I care a lot about women and girl’s ministry. I’m blessed to have a wide array of friends with different calling and backgrounds, and it gives me such good perspectives from people different than me. 

My mom was a stay-at-home mom when I was growing up. She is an attorney but chose to stay home and homeschool me. I am incredibly grateful to her for laying down her dreams to help me achieve mine and give me what I needed as a child. 

When my brother was in elementary school. My parents chose to send him to public school (he did better in a traditional school environment) and my mom decided to open up her own law firm. 

Because of this- I have the upmost respect for stay-at-home moms and women who choose to work or start a business. I understand the dire importance in our world of having both

In this @TheTransformedWife account, I saw she did a Q&A on her Instagram stories, so I figured I’d flip through and try to better understand her point of view. I saw someone ask this question and here was her response. 

A few thoughts:

1st- If an “influencer” (which is a stretch for this account but she’s got 40k followers so we’ll go with it) tells you what God’s perfect will for you is- Run.

2nd- I don’t know where it says we must only do ministry in the home. Was Debra wrong for being a judge and having a career? Was Priscilla wrong for running a business with her husband?

3rd- How arrogant to diminish those who “work for a boss and paycheck”. Does this woman know every person’s situation? Is she offering to give a portion of her husband’s paycheck to you so you can stay home? Personally, I would love to not work right now and just be a full-time grad student. However, realistically, that’s not possible. I do love my jobs, but they’re a necessity at the moment. 

Then we’ve got this beauty:

Contrary to her interpretation, the Proverbs 31 woman is actually both a homemaker and works to bring in money for her household. 

My interpretation on the Proverbs 31 woman, is that she is used as an example of the ideal woman or someone we should aspire to be. The reality is that we will probably never be able to do everything this Proverbs woman does- But that’s the point. God created each of us with specific desires and purposes. We cannot be a Biblical, collective group of women without acknowledging the beauty in our different gifts, desires, and skills. We need homemakers who raise our kids to be disciples of Jesus just as I believe we need female OBGYNs, female police officers, female counselors, etc.    

The commentary in my Bible put it rather beautifully: “In fact, she (the Proverbs 31 woman) may not be one woman at all- She may be a composite portrait of ideal womanhood.”

I have tried to speak in the most loving way as my intent isn’t to offend, but rather to remind the beauty of diversity of desires and gifts. I look forward to the day I have children and can stay home with them while they are young just as I look forward to the day I’m graduated and can open my own counseling practice. Both are good and honorable things. 

Bottom line (In my never-ending story 🙂 ), I’m your cheerleader. And as Christian women, we should all be each other’s cheerleaders. I believe if you know the Lord and you’re following His will for your life, I will support you and cheer you on regardless of whether it’s at home or in the workforce. We’ve got to stop making tertiary issues into primary ones and understand life is not always black and white. 

As a sister in Christ, I’m here for you. Prayer, coffee, or cat memes. I got you. 

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