Where does a person’s worth come from? Musical or athletic ability? Academic success? A great career? A well-paying job? An good-looking boyfriend? A huge aspect of my Dating With Purpose platform is realizing your self-value and self-worth. When I speak to students (and even parents), I emphasize how important it is that you respect yourself and expect respect from others. I talk about how crucial it is that you realize your value and worth. You have to LOVE who YOU are- that’s the first step to any healthy relationship- but also the first step to being emotionally and mentally healthy as an individual.
Obviously, like most things, loving yourself is easier said than done. Over the past few months, that is something I have really had to focus and work on. When I speak to students I always tell them I am preaching to myself more than anyone else because I am not perfect and I definitely don’t have everything figured out. Self-love and self-confidence is something you work on and work toward all of your life. I’m still figuring out how to love who I am as a person. I am still learning where my worth and value comes from.
In my Dating With Purpose presentation, I explain to students how every person is unique- they all have certain special talents and abilities. Whether that be they are an excellent student or beautiful pianist or a great tennis player- they all have things that make them special.
But something I have been brewing on and a mistake I’ve made in my own life is I have depended far too much on my talents to define my worth. I thought that because I can sing and play four instruments- that gives me value. I thought if I maintained a 4.0 throughout school- I’d be worth more as a person. This may sound silly, but I don’t think I’m alone in this- I think we all struggle with trying to earn our value and worth.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying your gifts and talents and abilities don’t have meaning or do not make you successful. We all have achievements we are proud of- but in my mind- my achievements were all I had. I thought if I lost my singing voice or made a C in my biology class it would make me worth less than before. A guy wouldn’t like me anymore or people wouldn’t really care to be my friend. Again, I know that sounds ridiculous, but that was just where my mind was at.
Over the years, I’ve learned through a lot of prayer and guidance from others where a person’s worth comes from. It does not come from things you might lose- like a 4.0 or your ability to hit a home run. Your worth and value comes from your heart. It comes from your mind. It comes from the little things that make a huge difference- like putting others above yourself. Walking with humility. Stepping up and being a leader or doing the hard job when no one else will. It’s caring for the person that has no one else to care for them. Because to that person- you are worth everything. It is giving when you don’t have anything to give. It is loving someone who is difficult to love. It’s being patient when you’re running late and have a million things on your to do list. It is having pride in everything you do and being the hardest worker in the room. The fact of the matter is many things fade or lose meaning- pageant crowns, a 4.0, a high school or college athletic career, etc. But all of these things I’ve listed- they will always have meaning.
You can never lose your ability to love, to care, or to serve. You never have to lose your work ethic or humble attitude. Your servant heart and leadership ability never fade with time or lose purpose. THIS is what makes you special and sets you apart. THIS is what makes people want to be a part of your life. THIS is what gives you value and worth.
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